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Today, I learned that my friend has been

  • Today, I learned that my friend has been secretly a vi user his entire life. Myself being an emacs fanatic to the point of my wife leaving me with my kids, jobless, and homeless.
  • In 1984, Stallman began working on GNU Emacs to produce a free software alternative to
  • the Bloomberg news and trading platform. Stallman's open source software retained its security through collaborating with other programmers. The programming community woul Security
  • ... Wait a minute. Wait a gosh darn Bloomberg minute. Stallman stalled as his hands hovered menacingly above his keyboard. He looked at the other programmers. "What the hell is SHE
  • doing with all those obese and yet scurvy-afflicted midgets? I know I said that we are appealing to niche fetishes today, but not THAT niche!" The programmers fidgeted awkwardly,
  • desperately wanting to reach their pale fingers into their pants. The urge was so strong, but they had already been rejected by society. They did not need another excuse to be
  • told to sit on the Naughty. So they stuffed their pale fingers into their mouths and practised whistling for taxis instead. They were so effective that they were soon surrounded by
  • all of the taxis in midtown. Now when has this ever happened? Since I didn't really need a cab, I tried to slink away unnoticed. Out of nowhere, the biggest, burliest cab driver
  • s grabbed my bags and tossed them in the truck. He then turned to me in a high squeaky voice and said, "I guess this is what a major in English gets me. Come on, get in the cab."
  • So I replied, in an unusually low baritone, "All right, let's go!" And so we drove off into the sunset, leaving behind the smoking crater that once was our high school.

2 Comments

  1. KieferSkunk Dec 03 2013 @ 15:38

    I'm not sure what happened in inatick's fold, but for some reason I couldn't stop laughing there.

  2. lucielucie Dec 03 2013 @ 16:02

    I meant naughty step.

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