My hair stood on end, a shiver raced down

My hair stood on end, a shiver raced down my spine and a lump came to my throat. It was him. The mystery figure that haunted my inexplicable dreams every night. Why'd he choose me?

Then the mongol nation came down from the skies in a ball of fire and glory.

Blinding, their prowess had finally bestowed itself unto the world. Begging for forgiveness the our newfound gods, Jonathan fell to his knees

He cried unto them. "Mercy!!!" He wished only for them to leave him in peace. He knew, however, that this was impossible.

"Mercy?" the creatures sneered, baring yellow-stained teeth, "After you called us foul, degenerate aliens? I think not!" The human cowered, his whimpers morphing into ugly sobs.

"You just don't understand Earth colloquialisms," sniffed the human, "here, it is a great honor to be called foul, degenerate aliens." The aliens scratched their giznods and

shook hands with the human w.o. washing them first. "& where we come from, it's a great honor to get someone else's BM all over your hand." The human tried to slap the aliens, but

The martian patriarch said, "this is not allowed because you are our slave now. Use the holy water instead." There was a whole urn of it on the mantle and it was difficult to not

associate holy water with my upbringing, so I sanctified the potatos. Soon they sprouted and the greening of Mars began anew and I led a slave uprising as the martian messias.