I wanna live. Who's on with me? Live a lif

I wanna live. Who's on with me? Live a lif of passion, a life of adventure. I want

to be a stripper. That is the most alien thing from my current occupation as librarian. All day long I sit and watch prepubescent teenagers search for the dirty novels in the adult

section. It's quite entertaining see the expression on their faces when they find what they're looking for. It kind of makes me wonder what they

think holy water is actually supposed to do. This sort of thing doesn't have anything to do with religion. It's just me, some red contacts, and glue on fangs. Hunting in churches

for smug supplicants who will agree to my bullshit if I agree to theirs was thirsty business, so I guzzled a beer and swallowed a fake fang. A pastor from a church

We would need the shakers for the tonight's audience participation flamenco night at the Sheraton. An audience favorite, I always had time finding enough maracas for the crowds.

Fezes bobbed to the Flamenco guitar. With a loud clack-clacking, four-hundred Shriners tried to do the 'dance of love'. We then opened for the Blue Man Group at the Venetian.

In order to parody them (which may have been a bad idea), we painted our entire bodies blue. We then performed naked on the stage, except for silly white Smurf hats on our heads.

The Smurfs didn't take the jokes well, and flew at our ankles in a fury. Their fury was relentless as they clawed and bit, but we managed to squash them all. We had saved our town.