I think I've gone truly insane. I've given

I think I've gone truly insane. I've given all of my imaginary friends FaceBook profiles, and update them regularly.

What is worse is now my imaginary friends are facebook friends with each other. They poke each other, play farm-ville with out me and now they de-friended me. Apparently I was post

mortem. Yes, I was "after death." This is why I could not update my Facebook status. My ghost fingers passed right through the keyboard.

My Facebook friends started to poke me more and more frantically. Finally with the help of chopsticks and willpower, I updated my status: Died recently-- now a ghost! Check out my

new profile pic, no filter! I floated away from my computer, unable to close the lid. As I phased through the screen, it started to dawn on me of how boring it was to be a ghost.

No food, no sex, not even the touch of another human being. I tried to shed Ghost tears but they failed to come and instead a lower mournful moan escaped my soul. A small girl on

very tall unicycle road nearby but failed to see me and I remained alone in my mournful sorrow, whimpering like a little puppy who is lost and hungry and afraid to face the cold

Until a pit bull boxer named Tank saw me and invited me to his house. It had cushions from an old couch. There was plenty of food. I vaguely recognised my old friend from college.

"Good lord, Chugger, I haven't seen you since Sophomore year," I said to him, "How long have you been living in Tank's doghouse?" Chugger shrugged and offered me some kibble.

I politely declined however, explaining that I had just eaten but might take a rain-check. "Thanks anyway, pal!" He smiled at that. Good old Chugger. I'll never forget him.