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The tornado touched down on his car. He blacked

  • The tornado touched down on his car. He blacked out. When he woke up he was in a giant cave. Glistening rocks moved around him. Something slimy oozed across his windshield.

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  • This wasn't OZ anymore. That place had been cool as hell and he'd packed as many gold bricks, virgins, talking scarecrows and metal men in the car as possible. The storm dissipated

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  • and apparently so did the virgins and the metal men (although their chastity had been quite shady to begin with), leaving behind a large pile of pop-cherry flavoured metal hoes. He

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  • bent down slowly, and scooped a handful of soft soil into his tired hands. It fell like snow from his fingertips onto the girl's body. As it landed, her belt began to

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  • sprout, sending up tendrils, like new vines, pushing up through the soil as it spilled from his hands onto the girl. The vines grew, leave unfurled, buds and then blooms opened

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  • every jar within reach, meaning they now had to be refrigerated to preserve freshness unless used immediately. A can of Vienna sausages also was opened, which attracted the

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  • biology nerds. Biology nerds had keen hearing when it came to the freshness seal being broken on a jar of Vienna sausages. Bless their hearts all they wanted was to be

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  • eating canned mini-wieners and watching the Discovery Channel all day. Unfortunately for the bio-nerds, extreme nitrate intake caused severe dementia and at the 3rd annual

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  • Trekkie convention everyone dressed in Evil Spock outfits and goose-stepped onto the stage while chanting

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  • the old theme from the Meow Mix commercial. "Meow-meow-meow-meow" Wasn't so great without the tune. No matter, for he felt better now. He began fist-pumping wildly.

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