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Billy Mays woke up screaming. The Wooden

  • Billy Mays woke up screaming. The Wooden Mage hugged him. "I was selling the slap chop!" The Numbers of The Wall Council looked at each other. "Billy, you were in the Dimension

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  • of Cannibalistic Vegetables. Your next scouting mission is in the Dimension of Cleanly Oxides." The Council shoved Billy Mays into a pod, armed with a Mighty Putty launcher and

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  • a crack pipe. Billy Mays was feeling high as the space pod he was in, so he asked Will Riker on the Enterprise to body-double for him. Riker was hesitant, but Billy had a job to

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  • shirk and Riker fully supported shirking. After ole chrome dome had kicked it on Xanadu, Riker had mastered the art of shirking his Captain's duties. Meanwhile, the Enterprise

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  • had entered the Talos IV system still off limits to Federation vessels. The navigation officer Laforge was playing orion slave girl tetris & didn't notice. Capt. Ryker's slackerdom

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  • was apparent to Picard, who, in an unbelievable funk, had locked himself on the holodeck. A multitude of "false" Picards surrounded him, each trying to determine the optimal Picard

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  • level of scalp shine, just enough to attract the hot alien ladies. "That 50 shades of Earl Grey isn't going to write itself!" said one of the fake holodeck Picards as he took

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  • up his pen. "Ouch!," yelled Ana, "what are you smacking my Assam with?!?" "It's only a solid silver antique teapot," Christian replied steamily. "I've got Darjeelings for you only

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  • you must enjoy it

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  • in THX surround sound and 3D high-definition with a overpriced tub of popcorn (extra butter,) Junior Mints, and mega-gulp Diet Cherry Coke. Then your life is complete.

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