One day in Millcreek

One day in Millcreek

, Pennsylvania, there was a store called the Cracker Barrel and they had free samples, a

cheery hostess and a chicken fried steak that's just the bee's knees. At the back of the Cracker Barrel, there was a wooden Indian whose eyes seemed to follow you. This wouldn't be

any ordinary Sunday dinner. The hostess motioned us to follow her and we went like bear cubs following mama bear. Soon we were surrounded by Bubbas and Bobbys who were twice

our size with claws like a papa bear. They all, for one Sunsay meal, a bear family. Once the salmon and the weakest bears were eaten, Mama Bear brought out the next course.

the mustard. "The older ones taste of spam, but once you eat a baby, their screaming gets muffled and kind of purrs as they go down." Baby Bear asked for an extra helping of baby.

...and it was juuust riiiiight, so Goldilocks wanted some too. Before long, the 3 Little Pigs showed up, demanding a slice of the spam baby loaf. Baby Bear didn't want to share, so

he said, stick around long enough and well make some more out of you, LOL. So the little pigs ran out crying because they realized that someone they knew was in that spam baby loaf

With no other options left, our little pigs pressed the "Deus ex Machina" button, magically going back in time to stop their hated enemy from turning their friends into spam loaf.