Most guys weren't like him. For example,

Most guys weren't like him. For example, he put his pants on both legs at a time. I tried that once and got a bloody nose for it. He'd walk

and chew gum at the same time too. What a show-off. I hate that son of a bitch so much. I wish he'd trip and choke on that gum at the same time. And die.

And decompose. And be secreted through the digestive track of bugs and small things. Then become soil nutrients, absorbed into plants, enter a piece of fruit and get revenge by

dropping on the head of that accursed scientist. I was very limited as a kamikaze apple. "Banzai!" I yelled. "Ow" said Newton as he looked at my bruised body.

and tied a string to my stem, planning to waylay Leibniz at the Royal Society meeting with my mealy wormy core. He hated that conceited schemer for claiming to invent the Calculus

but whe he answered all of their questions on the formula with a"Humm"that echoed the Calculus,they knew he was lying and the joke was on Liebniz.Almost dead,I got at the Society

bake sale repository and started looting the Dunkin Donuts funds. With what could have been my last breath, I tore open the carton of Munchkins in desperation and sorted out all

through the boring ones, gathering the jelly-filled munchkins with both arms in desperation. I stuffed them all into my mouth at once, my eyes rolling heavenward as the raspberry

-filled munchkins popped one by one in my mouth. No minute fantasy character shall be safe from my new-found ravenous appetite for little - hobbits, Smurfs and Fraggles, beware!