Katie strode into the room, curls flying

Katie strode into the room, curls flying around her plump ruddy cheeks, her wild eyes wide with passion. "I want that Bircher muesli," she declared. "and I want it now". Dee paused

to be human but then realized that required real modesty so she flicked the thought away like a dead beetle. Was Katie a true chocoholic? That became the most important question

of the investigation. Katie's body lay in the kitchen, next to an empty tray of Devil's Food Cake. Was this really death by chocolate? "She even licked off the fingerprints," said

Charlie the Tuna. "But something's fishy,this tattoo on her arm looks like Quetzalcoatl", said Det.Manatee teasing his assistant about his previous job. "Have the chocolate tested

for STDs." Sure enough, the bar of 66% caocao Polish Dark tested positive for Gonorrhea. J Man equipped his Atomic Disassembler Cannon. "Looks like this was...love at first bite."

"Not so fast, you sleek water steed, you," Agnieszka Przszeszewska, his Polish counterpart, commented.

By sleek water steed, of course, they meant the submarine with the screen windows. When it was dredged from the harbor,

It was covered with the cutest little starfish. My job was to get the sub ready. The Craigslist add was vague, so I brought mustard, cheese slices, and tomatoes. Hmm, don't I feel

right at all. Kind of ill to my...oh no! I've been poisoned! Dagnabbit, who'd ever have thought that someone on Craigslist could really be a cold-blooded serial killer!? Who!?