His tearful hazel eyes met her amber, once

BZZZZZ!!! The alarm indicated it was time for the speed daters to rotate. God this was gut-wrenching. It'd only been 20 minutes & he was spent. He looked at his watch & she sighed

and burped.Like a truck driver.Her acid reflux was acting up again.She pretended to tie her shoe as the other Speed Daters looked around saying what WAS that?The next guy sat down

right on her purse, the great and innumerable folds of his buttocks swallowing it like a rising tide of cellulite. Unwilling to retrieve her reflux meds from beneath her date, she

forwent them. Our ancestors didn't have acid reflux meds, and some of them lived to almost 50. Her heart burned as she bloated like a balloon. The pile of male flesh she was dating

Was reminiscent of some actor whose name I forgot. Blimey! Anyway, she drank too much Old Goat Ale, made right here in Chicago. I was going to AA meetings and avoided booze.

I guess I never expected seeing her again; me and booze never mixing. James Mason. That was the actor he was reminiscent of. James Mason. Now I'm not so sure. Old Goat Ale became a

hundred percent alcohol as soon as it entered my bloodstream, and though I remembered how much she loved my James Mason impressions, I could not recall how he spoke any more. She

jostled my desk with her hip and licked the scotch off my desk seductively. Then she pulled a little string bag out of her cleavage and rolled a cigarette. "Tell me, 'James', did

You ever consider leaving the spy game and settling down with me? He quickly shot her, saw off her head and breasts and kept them for later. "Settling down, indeed." He chuckled.