Al took his singing masturbation act on the

Al took his singing masturbation act on the road, reinventing himself as “Sonny Bone-OH!” Song parodies like “Beat the Meat Goes On” & “A Cowboy Jerks It Till He’s Done” were Al’s

bread and butter. He churned them for everything they had in them. Then one night, in Omaha, in the middle of making hand babies while singing "Polishing The Bishop" his hand spasm

And he started to share down some radishes. He snarfed them up one by one until they were gone. Then he heard cannon fire in the background. The damned Yankees were coming!

stopped me in my tracks & stuck a feather in my cap AND called me Macaroni! "Macaroni," the one named Yogi said. "Surrender your radishes NOW or..." "Or WHAT?!" I cried defiantly.

"Or I'll contact every animal activist group on the planet and tell them that I saw you pluck that feather from a sacred bald eagle" Yogi sneered. "That will boil your pasta!"

"But that bald eagle snatched my toupee!" protested the Jellystone Forest Ranger, "Tit for tat! Quid pro quo!" and that's when he quit the service and took a job as president of

the facebook group, "Toupees Against Bald Eagles." Like all facebook groups, all they did was complain about bald eagles without doing anything about them. Not to mention they were

all secretly jealous that bald eagles had a natural covering for their bald heads. Toupees were never really in style. Then one of them created a Facebook event to raid the

infamous Area 51. They needed their toupees back, no matter how unfashionable it was. Their natural baldness would leave them outcasts. "Onward!" the post shouted and it grew.