The store owner was closing for the night.

The store owner was closing for the night. He went to lock the door, but when looked outside he dropped the keys and ran straight into the backroom without locking the door.

He did not know how she could have been standing outside, he was so confused; it was impossible he thought. Standing outside of his store was his mother who had passed 1 year ago.

He quickly hid his stash, flushed a lit monster duby, slicked back his hair, put on his only shirt & opened the stores door, "Mom, you look well for a recently deceased person."

"I would like to tell you that I have wanted you to learn how to play baseball for a long time. And, I think it is time that I teach you. These are my feelings." The son said,

"But Dad, I already know." The father's face fell. "But who taught you?" The son looked at the floor, ashamed. "It was Mom." The father froze as his face turned purple. "WHAT?!?"

"It wash me," said Mom, taking a swig from her bottle of gin. "I also taught him to throw like a girl." She hugged her son then vomited. "What're ya gonna do about it, Big Daddy?"

He was startled and promptly ran away crying. By the time he reached his room he was out of breath and wiped the tears from his face. As he turned to lock the door he saw

something scarier in the hallway: his little sister holding one of his most prized collectibles. "What are you doing, sis? Nevermind, I'm not mad. Just give it back, okay?"

Her eyes narrowed. "No!" she cried & lifted my treasure over her head to BREAK IT! I couldn't watch. Seconds later, I smelled her candy breath close to my cheek. "Here. I wub oo."