But Kermit was sick of Ms. Piggy's crap.

  • But Kermit was sick of Ms. Piggy's crap. He started spending more time at the office, sometimes sleeping there. He wasn't having an affair (yet) he just didn't want to face the por

  • ridge Ms. Piggy served Kermit every night in between sets on the Soloflex. "These arms and legs will never be shapely, and I'm cool with that," thought Kermit in his office, late

  • -ral muscles softening with every chocolate-covered fly. Kermit couldn't face Ms. Piggy while he was craving pork rinds, so he sung "It's Not Easy Being Lean" at his desk. A stack

  • of papers flew off his desk with the intensity of his song, leaving a slash of paper cuts accross his back.

  • "Owie! that stings!" he said. They wheeled him into the ER. It was lacerations via papyrus of the latissimus dorsi region. He would live, but would require extensive therapy.

  • Too bad the surgeons were having a bad day. They punctured his aortic valve and accidentally bungled up re-tubing his lungs. He went into cardiac arrest and died after all.

  • The surgeons felt they needed to go on a course after that so jetted off to the Lung Retubing Refresher in sunny Las Vegas. They booked into a room in a large pyramid & immediately

  • engaged in chest cracking. The egyptian decor fueled their enthusiasm, prompting them to forego the usage of sternal saws in favor of era-inspired tools. Patients were lining up

  • Greening telepaths dreamed of shaking hands.

  • Much like Chomsky´s colorless green ideas that sleep furiously,this was another concept that most people found difficult to grasp.Greening telepaths were not everyone's cup of tea.



  1. Kat Nov 20 2014 @ 16:17

    Kermit´s lacerations are nothing compared to the pain that was finishing this story.

  2. Servant Nov 20 2014 @ 18:36

    If we were Greening telepaths, you would know that I understand your pain. Alas, the internet is a poor medium of communication for that sort of thing. If it can be of any comfort, I will like your fold right after I submit this comment.

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