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The wet cold asphalt was the same color as

  • The wet cold asphalt was the same color as the sky that drooled on my mood. "Cheer Up!" the damn Dr. had said. How can anyone Cheer Up in the Pacific North West. When it wasn't

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  • raining, the ash clouds from the volcanoes grayed the sky. It seemed like a good idea to move here, join a band, and work part time foaming lattes, but lately

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  • I'd been getting a lot of fallout. Not from the lattes. It was the lyrics I penned. The audiences liked our bands music, but their faces would turn ashen when we started to sing "

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  • Shiny Happy People." But honestly, it was meant to be ironic, I'm not actually singing because I like shiny happy people, I'm making fun of them. And that stupid redhead from

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  • the B-52s with her Love Shack, "Tin Roof!...rusted." What the heck does that mean? I drank my Orange Crush and felt I was losing my religion, but I feel fine. Leonard Bernstein was

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  • preoccupied because he was meeting Maria, somewhere, and tonight won’t be just any night if everything went according to plan. He just knew every little thing was gonna be alright

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  • AAHHHHHHHHHHHH! My Eye! MY GOD!!! My Eeeyyyeeeee!!! Noooo! Uggghhhh. There he was, clutching his wrecked orbital, when the lovely Maria rounded the corner.

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  • The botched Lasik surgery was wrecking Sauron's mojo. He cried when "I Saw Her Standing There" came on the jukebox. The tears burned his cornea. But he wouldn't give up on love, so

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  • blotted a tear from his leaking eye, slammed a shot of Southern Comfort, and bee-lined to a cute gal across the room. He realized by running into it that Cute Gal was the jukebox.

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  • So, with tears continuting, he reluctantly picked Love Me Tender Love Me True... and swayed back and forth by the jukebox.

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