I ran so fast that my clown nose flew off.

I ran so fast that my clown nose flew off. "That elephant's hankering for some carny asada. To the getaway cannon!" Uh-oh. Someone stuck a cork in it. "Blasted cork!" My next plan

was to be a hit man. I donned a black suit & tried making my eyes steely. But my bubble butt ruined the effect. Next I decided to tell fortunes & set up a table in the French Quart

er. I ate beignets all day, so that my derriere expanded further, along with my hips. The locals dubbed be Thunder Thighs when they thought I was distracted by my crystal ball

had programs of all sorts, effective ones. Lose thirty lbs. in a minute. Breathe underwater near Fukushima. Spin so fast that TV reruns play in reverse. It just required dedication

to the paradox of choice. Whatever I was doing before, one thing I know: the more choice you offer, the less people will take you up on it.

people hate having choices foisted upon them. You're trying to bamboozle & flim flam them.it's a trick! Why so cynical? Do you remember when you were a child? Your first

question you had to answer was "Do you love me or daddy more?" Questions cause so much friction! Just tell me what you want and we'll get along just fine. He pulled out his phone

hammer and began delicately tapping at the number of cellphones he had placed on the table in front of him. "Music will answer this question!" he exclaimed with a flourish, and

launched into a profoundly moving unabridged performance of "Tales From Topographic Oceans", in all of its self-indugent excess, using only the hammer and cellphones. Glorious!