"He got it from BREAD and it like, ate his

"He got it from BREAD and it like, ate his face!" "Oh shut up, your stories never make any sense." She felt terrible as her friend scolded her but she kept staring at the bread...

Suddenly the bread began to twist and warp and a small crusty mouth appeared. It spoke unto us: "I AM GOING TO EAT YOUR FACES!" It flopped onto the floor and bounced towards us.

Melody whipped on a pair of sunglasses. "I guess you can say we're... toast" yyeeaaAAAHHHHH *cue awesome guitar solo*

Halfway through the solo the guitarist accidentally swallowed his pick, choking and passing out. Phil the drummer came to his rescue, and they realized they were in love. They then

And wasn't marriage sort of a show in it's own right? A make-believe one person was your partner for life who'd fufill all your wishes? "I'll double down" he thought & threw dice

onto the table. He held his breath as the dice skittered across its smooth surface, knowing that the fate of his marriage rested on this final gamble. As soon as the dice

landed, he breathed a sigh of relief. That was, until he realised he'd placed the wrong bet and his wife kicked him out of house and home with a bundle of divorce papers under his

One remaining free arm, now that he had death's door just 290 feet ahead, wide open like the jaws of the laughing hyena to his left.

Tossing the object he was holding into the laughing hyena's mouth, bought him a few seconds. He was only 3 feet from death's door before the laughing was muffled by his neck skin!