She had taken her son to Disneyland. The

She had taken her son to Disneyland. The photos were developed. She couldn't take her eyes off the one with her son and Princess Jasmine. There was something...oh wait, what

had seemed magical at the moment evaporated into horror. Behind Jasmine and her son was a faint glimmer...a ghost, she knew it. And behind the ghost, her ex-husband with some tramp

oline. Oh god, those nightmareish days at the circus. Jumping through hoops, walking the tight-rope, while Russ barked orders. Yes, he'd gotten what he'd deserved. But now he was

terrified of clowns. This also applied to drag queens and the women of ABC's The View. Once, he

he stayed in bed a full week hiding under the covers after a particularly traumatizing nightmare that involved both the hideous women of "The View", clowns, and zombie mimes. He

knew that Whoopie represented his mother and the clown was his father. But what about the zombie mimes. Did they represent his own death, locking him in an invisible box?

Whoopie's invisible box that birthed him, his absentee clown father (no really, a clown), and the Marcel Marceau zombie mime troupe didn't represent his death. No, it represented

his life: surrounded by braineaters with some clown always on his ass. The revelation stunned him to silence. It was an epiphany. Now, everything could change.

He began speaking to the brain eaters. You know who has the tastiest cerebellum? Clowns. it's the joy quadrant. Immediately the zombies set upon his clown followers, enabling him