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They say that the head stays alive for two

  • They say that the head stays alive for two minutes after it's been decapitated. The lack of this knowledge was the cause for Bob's mild confusion as he sailed over the edge of

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  • the executioner's platform. It took 1 minute and 57 seconds for him to get this, then it was lights out. The old Dutch woman in the front row kicked Bob's head into the crowd. She

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  • re-arranged her labia like she was folding origami swans, not caring that she was horrifying onlookers and causing sneezng fits due to plumes of dust rose from her briar patch.

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  • The dust bothered her too, making it necessary for her to look away sometimes resulting in her labia looking not like a beautiful swan but an ugly duck. "ugly duck, ugly fuck"she

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  • cursed. Sister Mary Margaret responded by throwing her into a Magdalene Laundry, where she worked for 64 years scrubbing habits and enduring weekly assignations by a stinky

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  • old monk named Jeb. She realized that this smelly-robed man may be her only ticket out of this black and white and starch purgatory. One evening, she whispered into Jeb's ear,

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  • "I'll do anything if you help me escape from the convent." Jeb the smelly-robed Monk thought about how best to respond to the nun's offer. If Mother Superior found out, damnation

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  • The Nun's offer intrigued Jeb! He would use any excuse to get out of his smelly robe even sex with a Nun. Why did his order have to insist on never washing their robes instead of

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  • doing like the other order did and always offer fresh ones? He didn't dwell on the thought for long, a nun needed sexed and he was the man to do it. He read Song of Solomon to her

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  • but was a bit out of tune. Nevertheless, the serenaded penguin swooned at his ecclessiastical ditty, and what a ditty it was.

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