Once upon a time, there was a big bear.

This bear lived a long, fulfilled bear life and passed away from heart disease, which ran in his bear family. By some hiccup in the universe, this bear ended up in penguin heaven.

Do you think this Bear was happy in penguin heaven? Do Bears like anchovy-popsickles? Group orgies with dead partners? He put in for a transfer with "Happy Feet" in the complaints

department but the paperwork got screwed up so he was transferred to "Super Depressed Feet." The bear was mortified. It was an indie-film by a Finnish director who had

no control over his desire to follow bear tracks. "The way these paws pressed so begrudgingly into the ground, what a trail of tears this is," he said in Finnish. Foot fetish flick

s aside, he had no other interests apart from bears and the Finnish transport system. So he followed the tearful bear to its den and snuggled up with it to overwinter together

Along with Nona and Squawker, who had three babies-Foley, Juliet and Stardust. Together they became best friends and had plenty of food stored away. The falcons hunted daily.

Squawkers tried to keep up but they flew at much higher elevations than he could. So after the third day he just met them at the sendoff. Then not at all after a month. The babies

cried "We miss our Da-da Squawkers!" "He's not your father," said the mother bird, "Now hush up and eat your worms." But the babies were sure that they were right, so one night

they raised their tiny heads out of the nest and sang to their "Da-Da." Their screechy voices, though well-intended, pierced the night. A distant call greeted them. Squawkers!