Around 10:30 am, I picked Cassandra up outside

Around 10:30 am, I picked Cassandra up outside her apartment in north Seattle. I’d used her car the night before to scope out the place in Renton we were meeting at noon.

The problem was that I'd left my wallet in Bellevue. Cassie said, "Fuck wallets, let's go to Tacoma." I didn't mind smoking a joint on the way there but I owed the Puyallups

and, you know what they say about the Puyallups. So, I settled back and popped open a jar of Hellman's Real Mayo. If it isn't Hellman's, it isn't

Mayonnaise. Nothing better then the real thing. I am hungry, maybe I should boil some eggs and make some sandwhiches before returning to the forest. One photo of bigfoot and I

- and to tell the truth, I kinda like the warm squishiness of it. Not a big fan after it gets cold and stinks up the joint, but the initial warmth? Nothing beats it, except for

lava, which had its own shortcomings, like non-squishiness and slow cooling. I would hardly ever stick my privates in there. Lilac and green unicorns surrounded me as I jerked

chicken and sliced plantains inside my Kingston bungalow. I had just iced down my balls from the latest lava-bagging. Things were really

going swell at least judging from their appearance. All the other porn stars swore by the treatment. The size was impressive and hot-and-cold testicle spas prevented pregnancies.

By freezing one testicle and boiling the other, the sperm had to swim in circles from one to the other trying to find the perfect temperature. Sterilized and homogenized Sperm! HA