In a not-so-distant kingdom, there lived

In a not-so-distant kingdom, there lived a king and his subjects. He liked history and biology, but peasants were good too. Everything was peaceful until one day, when

the royal tutor tried to assassinate him. The king noticed her crab knife bookmark in "On the Origin of Species," and that "kill the king" was penciled into her lesson plans. He

thought maybe he could woo the royal tutor. And so the king sent what he always sent. The first woman who was not revulsed at Spam Baby would be his queen. That she wished him dead

made her even more alluring. A feisty queen would add some zest to his life. The king decreed that all subjects must prepare Spam Fiesta Salad for the royal wedding. Spam Baby

clapped his hands in delight. Then he realised that they meant to make Spam Fiesta Salad out of *him*. Grabbing his scimitar, Spam Baby decapitated the King's personal chef, then

ran across the banquet table towards the head of the table. The timetraveling spam tin had appeared at the table of the King of Kings,Shahanshah.Spam baby's mission, to fix history

so that Muppet Babies would have never aired. Spam Baby had been frightened by the non-sequiter door openings to strange film clips. The timetraveling spam tin had

burst open in the microwave on the last timejump. Its cooked-spam head burst out the can in a horrific expulsion, a demon-cry echoing from its slimy cheeks. "HUWRRAAAUUOOGGHH!!!"

The spam demon scurried its way across the kitchen floor towards the cat's litter box. The spam demon ate the cat litter and the disappeared out the