I'm what you call an hacker-for-hire . While

I'm what you call an hacker-for-hire . While on a job to hack Sony's new Wii projects, I hit the motherload when I discovered the "Wii-X" games never intended for the mass market

like NintenPigs, which comes with the patented Wii XM-25, Wii Broiler Pan, and Wii Non-Stick Butter Spray peripherals. I can already smell the bacon! Another great Wii-X game is

called Super No-Friend-O where you're required to cut off all non-digital human contact for 40 days. The first time I tried I got carpal tunnel and had to quit after 27 days. But

then I lopped of my hands and had giant squid tentacles grafted onto my stumps. My reach expanded beyond 13 feet and I decided to fight Mike Tyson. Don King's hair was the

only obstacle. My tentacles couldn't break through the sphere of static electricity from King's hair, allowing Mike Tyson to get dangerously close to my ear. Luckily my ears were

retractable,so I pulled them in and swung my upper left tentacle around to encircle Tyson's head and then I SQUEEEEEZED, crushing his skull.But instead of brains and blood emerging

it was filled with the most delicious hot cocoa I've ever tasted! I felt guilty sucking on Tyson's left ear while this wonderful chocolately goodness seeped from his brain, but OMG

nothing could be more delightful than the thousands of different varieties of chocolate starfish on display. Tyson's ear surely could not taste as good as Tyson's chocolate

Tiffany Tyson's girlfriend came up then and wondered if such a thing were true and to test she nibbled on Tyson's ear the chocolate and ear both gave her butterflies in her tummy.

Soon the butterflies started to grow larger, causing his stomach to stretch until it literally exploded and butterflies burst out of the cavity, causing the entire room 2 applaud.