Somewhere over the rainbow Kamakawiwo'ole

Somewhere over the rainbow Kamakawiwo'ole played Over the Rainbow. Anyway, this land over the rainbow is currently shadowed by jungle, so the

rainbow had to get its light somewhere else. It plotted to procreate thousands of little rainbows to invade the overhanging jungle and destroy its shadowy properties.

The shadow king knew what the rainbow emperor wanted to do to his people and had to prepare them. "For too long we have been oppressed," He told his people. "Now we shall

overpower our fears with deep breathing exercises, yoga, and froyo with our support groups!" The crowd went wild. In the back, behind the adulation, one old crackpot's eyes flared.

"How dare she recommend froyo over ice cream! What a despicable idea," the curmudgeon mumbled. A support group with froyo? Preposterous. The frustrated man turned and left the room

, greatly angered. "How could she side with Fro-Yo?!" He bellowed. "All Fro-Yo flavors meld into a soup that tastes the same every time. Ice cream and gelato have character, and

substance, but Fro-Yo is just froth! Froth!" he yelled, frothing at the mouth as the girl walked away from him forever, cradling a cup of Fro-Yo in her arms and coo-ing to it. He

stomped a few feet more, stopped and turned; he tossed and flailed his arms above his head. Mercifully, his sexually candid lingo was unclear from that distance. She waved & smiled

in a manner that communicated that she was down for some ratatouille; hot, sweaty ratatouille. He didn't know ratatouille from Bouillabaisse anymore than a mountain knew a face.

But he knew the language of love. It was to his eternal shame that she dismissed his spaghetti and mothball surprise, and understood completely her kicking him out of a window.