One brisk and hazy but bright morning between

  • One brisk and hazy but bright morning between winter and summer, Cookie Monster, E.T., and Yoda walked into a Charbucks and got into the line.

  • "E.T. need coffee." said E.T. "Buy a round, I will," said Yoda. "Me just want biscotti," said Cookie Monster. The Charbucks barista rolled her eyes. Not THEM again.

  • This place wasn't a speakeasy, it was a speakdifficult. "Me want banana latte, no whip, soy" spoke Tarzan. Chewbacca grunted over the espresso machine. (Rip someone's arms off.)

  • But Mumble Jumble's proprietor realized things had gone too far when Yoda & Jar Jar spent an entire day trying to understand each other, just cuz Jar Jar asked him for the time.

  • They realized who would be a great interpretator: Cookie Monster! He spoke both Yoda's and Jar Jar's accents and understood them both. Or so they thought.

  • "Funny accent for baking cookies, meesa have?" And that was the line that finally killed the Star Wars franchise once and for all.

  • Jar jar wasn't baking ordinary cookies, & Cookie Monster became more googly eyed than usual. "Me have da munchies.Want dat cookie. " Yoda said, "Millenium Falcon it is." while E.T

  • fell, dead-eyed, further into a k-hole whence there was no soon return. It was hard to believe that the sad rejects around me were once the lovable casts of various franchises.

  • That bunch in the corner by the fern used to be the cast of It Pays To Be Stupid. Look at them. They look so very happy talking to that fern. The fern just wants to be watered.

  • The fern doesn't care for human squabbles, it just needs liquid. The fern grew tired of their nonsense and severed their limbs, finally sated by bathing in the fountain of blood.



  1. LordVacuity Jun 11 2018 @ 14:38

    Nobody remembers It Pays To Be Stupid.

  2. LordVacuity Jun 11 2018 @ 14:39

    I was not allowed to watch it because it came on long after my bedtime.

  3. LordVacuity Jun 11 2018 @ 14:44

    My bad; it was actually It Pays To Be Ignorant.

  4. IceSquad Jun 11 2018 @ 15:59

    Awesome avatar, SH.

  5. LordVacuity Jun 18 2018 @ 22:43

    Thanks IC. I only wear it when I don't care what I look like.

  6. IceSquad Jun 18 2018 @ 23:19

    Didn't realize it was a selfie.

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