Morton's idea to train in a lead suite turned

Morton's idea to train in a lead suite turned out to be a good one when he heard the air raid sirens

lilting song muffle through the lead walls. He ran to the asbestos lined closet and grabbed his tin foil hat. "Hah, no way the aliens can detect me now." He got down on all fours

and looked through the Ships portal he had installed in the floor. Shit! Shit! Shit! He installed it to detect people crawling under his house. Now all he saw was Stars. Then the

big dipper disappeared. Then he saw Mama. She had her rusty can of goodies. Then Mama's face melted into a smirking skull of melted flesh, and he heard, "God damn you pervert

Mexican-Russian-Nazi-Commies. Can't you stop causing nuclear meltdowns for one moment?" Buck ran as far from the melting zombie Mama as he could, but his legs done weren't fast

ened on as tightly as he'd hoped. See, Buck was a really robot, so when the zombie mother grasped with her melting fingers and tweaked Buck's shiny belly-button, he lost his

until he found her. Her circuits gleaming, her wires like polished pennies, her CPU like a brilliant bar of gold. He felt his processor pounding as he made his way up to her and

inserted his hard drive into her internal matrix. "I hope that has been checked for viruses". She said. "Protection slows down the process and is less efficient". Suddenly a huge

Skeleton popped out.