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"Tony, if you were anymore open minded your

  • "Tony, if you were anymore open minded your brain would fall out."

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  • She addressed me literally. Late last night, someone took a phillips screwdriver to the back of my skull and I involuntarily gave a piece of my mind. "Tony? are you even listening?

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  • ". But the wind whistling through my brain pan deafened me to everything she said. All I could do was blather loudly each thought that entered my head, "Meatloaf looks like worm ch

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  • Imichangas!" I wandered the streets, my hollow mind and perforated skull human megaphone, my thoughts laid bare for all to hear. When the wind ceased, a silence so profound

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  • ensued that even my empty mind seemed to scream obscenities in its absence. An old woman opened her shutters and glowered at me. "Stop that," she said, "or I'll call a constable!"

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  • "Go ahead, witch," I snarled. "Duck the police! They're all runts!" The old woman gasped in disapproval and slammed her shutters closed. "Anyone else got a trucking problem?"

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  • The Isle of Sodor had a trucking problem, hence all the trains, but Topham Hat was restless at night due to Thomas and Friends' unsavory Twitter remarks: "Trains rights now!"

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  • Somebody with a made up name tweeted "Trains belong on Schedule!" The Caboose lobby still had enough clout to out the the secrets about the treatment of porters, The Pullman Report

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  • simply told everyone to fuck off and walk, if they wanted to complain about the longheld tradition of trains forever remaining off-schedule.

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  • So everyone fucked off and walked. Thickened leg muscles began appearing everywhere. Pants began not to fit, leading to a shortage rivaling the toilet paper shortage during COVID.

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1 Comments

  1. Woab Jul 11 2021 @ 12:23

    Another boffo ending!

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