Molotov's attempts to create the perfect

Molotov's attempts to create the perfect strawberry daiquiri had so far proved to be disastrous. "I'm afraid I'm going to have to let you go Slava" sighed taberneiro Stalin sadly,

a fiery concoction, not to be taken lightly. It was a bomb with the locals, and some tourists tried it and got bad heartburn. Best not to smoke and drink at the same time, I guess.

Unless of course you are me, then smoking and drinking at the same time is absolutely necessary. What I did, was take a giant wine chalice and drill a hole in it for a cigarette, t

-hen I would fill the holey chalice with an entire bottle of wine, stick a cigarette in the outside of the hole and inhale deeply as I drank, blowing the smoke from my nose. This

way I would die ten years sooner and no longer have to listen to my mother-in-law complain about the fact that I wasn't handy enough around the house. Like she knew an allen wrench

From the others. Butters the cat was , with his paws, figuring put which was which and showed me the Allen wrench. He knew more than my mum about mechanical objects. My mum was

gifted in other ways. She could belch the alphabet backwards. If you recorded it and played it backwards you would hear directions on how to build a catamaran. Butters the cat eyed

Republicant built that catamaran & was doing great going around the world on it until he ran into a hurricane named Backwards Beltched Alphabet 2: The Seagull. Butters lost it all.

Butters was Republicant's bottle-nosed retriever dolphin. When Butters went mad the last sentient intelligence on Earth extinguished & the aliens redesigned the planet & moved in.