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Oh, stop. Just spit it out! No more him-hawing around now. Say what you mean and mean what you say!

Fine, dammit, but what I have to say is mean. Life is a sad veil of tears. We come from nothing and go nowhere. Life is a purposeless virus, a grotesque, mutated homunculus of lies

which finds its home in the dark recesses of FoldingStory. Here, the most horrendous chambers of men's souls are released to wreak havoc. Legends say that every fold kills a kitten

and every story kills a snow porpoise. Haven't heard of a snow porpoise? Yeah, they disappeared shortly after Slim Whitman joined the fun. Every FS 'like' causes a swift kick to

their collective fitness & soon they where on the critically endangered FS memes list along with the likes of the Loofa, the Shamwow & the Spatula, but "Save the Snow Porpoise"

had no traction with the Snow Porpoise Butchering Enthusiasts of N. Michigan club, which is another story in and of itself, except that this club was ALSO endangered due to the

fact that all of its members were half human half sheminese reptilian penguins, which were an endangered species. How can you kill a club of killer reptilian penguins I wondered?

I had to infiltrate their ranks. Donning my feather/scale killer reptilian penguin hide, I waddle casually to the bonfire. The half-breeds look at me with suspicious eyes. "Squak?"

That meant "Hey guys, I'm new in town and would like to befriend fellow half-breeds. My name's Sandeep. So...anyone doing some black ops lately?" Their nostrils flared. I was in.