I'd always scraped by on what I made smuggling

I'd always scraped by on what I made smuggling epikuroweed over the border. Sure I'd had a few tranQgas induced heart-attacks along the way but I was still in good shape, more or

ange than blue, if you know what I mean. It wasn't so much the smuggling of poisonousnkelp that got to me. It wasn't the armed border patrol, either. It was the cheap

shot that my uncle took when I left. He muttered, "Pizza face" as I left. He said it low, but loud enough for me to hear. When I got to the border I lost my cool. I was smuggling

acne medication into the country at a time when medicinal marijuana was virtually free but Proactiv was selling at a hundy an ounce. "Lick that!" was all I could think to say to

my dog, and lick he did. Ahhh, so soothing...but I diress. So there I was hawking Clearasil on the street corner to any comer, when suddenly Mike Tyson and Queen Latifah came

l lookalikes came lumbering down the avenue. I really should not have smoked that...whatever it was..with Doogie. Abandoning my Clearasil stand, I hopped up on Queen Latifah's hump

ed camel and rode through the sands of time. The put me down in front of the fountain of youth. The fountain was surrounded exotic belly dancers bottling the water into clearasil

The same way Jimmy O'Neill demonstrated the product as a commercial during "Shindig!" 52 years ago. Their acne was gone, magically! Imagine that, in this age of excess drugs for

every malady including aging, it was aging itself that cured their acne. But then they complained about their wrinkles. Jimmy O'Neil offered to take them back to their blemish days

of hormonal angst, foolish unrequited love, self loathing & stark uncertainty, sweat & blood like a torrent ripping at their firmament. It was grand but they settled for wrinkles.