The television played the national anthem.

The television played the national anthem. It was pitch black and flickers and he'd nodded again. He hadn't heard a channel go off air since he got cable, but ghost are sentimental

when it comes to the idiot box. They had such a good time in the suburbs with that little girl and his family. It was great until that fat midget lady with the high pitch voice

started to sing, which meant that it was finally over. Now they had to go back to their idiotic

lives. To prolong the joy of the evening, they decided to share puns. "Aria you hungry?" "Dinner would Diva ine!" "It will have to be McDonalds, I only have a Tenor."

The couple at the next table, unable to avoid the punishment, called over the waiter and demanded that the curtain be brought down. And so their evening, begun with such promise,

L Ron didn't take disapointment well. The last person who had displeased him had been forced to read "Battlefield: Earth" aloud. Then watch the movie. Back to back. This caused

his head to explode. "Try drinking less and being sober more," the person had told L. Ron. But L. Ron controlled the way people reacted to him, and the new age movement helped.

Hubbard then decided his cult should go and burn down a liquor store and replace it with an ergonomically designed brainwashing booth to remove evil midichlorians.

The booth also boosted the count of midimaxipeptochlorians which turned out to be a scientologically proven cure for indigestion but only a few people bought it.