Why this car is a carbon monoxide emitter,

Why this car is a carbon monoxide emitter, why it's a gas guzzling! We'll get a supersized fuel tank & pump full of pure lead. Burnin up the gallons full throttle till the planets

shrivel like melting shrinky-dinks. The BP CEO dabbed his eyes. Planetary destruction always made him so emotional. But his son was an artist and he hated that. He needed to kill

and kill again he would. First things first, he needed a prospective victim so off he went to Craigslist. Luckily Craigslist was only as far as his laptop so he didn't even have to

and wilting insult, but all he could think of was to refer to Derek as "Lamecone", which even he had to admit was pretty lame. Little did he know that Derek was actually a god from

the Slovakian pantheon. Specifically, Derek was the little-known god of overcooked seafood. "C'mon" said Derek. "Don't you think you ought to saute that shrimp another ten minutes?

"Oh shut up Derek." They replied. "You're not even a real God." Derek bristled, transformed, and showed them His final form. The Omega 3 God stared down at them, razor sharp teeth

that can snap a tree in half and the unbelievably toned physique he possessed and exclaimed: "I am Derek, Thou god and thee shall kneel before me!" They instantly levitated unable

to blink, move, or breathe. The eyes of the helpless souls caught in Derek's trap glanced up to heaven, begging for mercy. Suddenly, they felt a cool, liberating breeze and they

floated heavenward, free at last. Lyres sang and welcomed them to eternity. Down below, Derek cursed the heavens for thwarting his plan, and was smote into the lowest pit of Hell.