It was dry out so I should have known. But

It was dry out so I should have known. But while my guard was down my sister blasted me with 50,000 volts of static. In the hospital, I sharpened down my big toenail to a point

y lightning rod. The danger of static discharge is it passes through your body. My toenail should ensure it just stayed in my foot. Sis tried to shock me at hospital by rubbing

my nipples with bacon grease and cabling them to her Vespa's battery. To our mutual surprise, the Vespa exploded. We barely escaped the ensuing fire in which seventy-one patients

could not look out the window when the Vespa exploded. The 71 patients were in body casts due to a tremendous, and extremely unfortunate twist of fate. You see they had been

found alive. The band members who survived the crash had impaled themselves on their instruments as a show of solidarity for their squished brothers, signing "Oh when the saints,

Go marching in" and leaving green mangoes for the kitchen gods. You couldn't fool the kitchen gods, who were disguised as pineapples, unknown to Queen Beatrice. King Ubu was happy

and looking for the Princess so that he could share his happiness with her. The Princess had already heard his humming and was sneaking down the rose trestle to get to her ship.

The Princess was determined not to have to "share his happiness" with him again, even if it meant leaving the country in a 6 million dollar yacht. The sea breeze felt good as she

stepped toward her own life independently. She was going on her own trail. She realized she was never truly happy because only she could herself happy before someone else could.