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The car swerved to miss the kangaroo, plowed

  • The car swerved to miss the kangaroo, plowed through the guard rail at high speed, and plunged over the side of the hill at high speed, only to land on the roof of the local ice

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  • cream factory where my jars of peanut butter all fell into the giant vat of chocolate ice cream. "Hey, you got your peanut butter in my chocolate!" yelled the foreman.

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  • The stockboy dreamed of the day that his chocolate would co-mingle with the foreman's PB. He had such velvety skin, and he blushed everytime he drove by in the forklift, and the

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  • foreman just assumed the stockboy's redness was an allergic reaction to his PB. Until one night on the way to Olive Garden's unlimited pasta bowl, they ran into each other and

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  • there was a HUGE explosion of garlic and peanut butter and chocolate. What the hell were they thinking as the two collided. He began to wonder what is that man made of?

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  • It all started when he was 17 and thought to himself where are my friends... At that point he realized no one wanted to hang out because of the repeated explosions of profuse items

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  • he kept hidden in his pocket. You see, although his pocket was lined with Keflar, it was not sound-proof, so when things exploded in there, it made his classmates wonder if he'd

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  • eaten the chili that was served at lunch. He had powder burns on his thighs so we walked really weird.

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  • The powder-burn induced sumo waddle brought to mind memories of his past life in Tokyo; after stripping down to his skivvies, he slapped his thighs and beckoned forth a challenger

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  • but the tanukis got pissed and berated him with shame within an inch of his life (I exaggerate) and he was never allowed back in Neo-Mecha-Nippon again. Which was just as well.

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