My brother is a wizard. He only knows two

My brother is a wizard. He only knows two spells, but they are very useful. The first spell allows him to be invisible and the second spell

gets the girls phone numbers. Oh no, my brother never used this second spell unless a girl seemed interested, but too shy. The invisibility spell was more useful for

totally no-holds-barred peeping tom stuff. My brother was nice, I was a perve. I used the invisibility spell to see my girlfriend naked, then my calculus professor, then the clerk

at my mom's office. It was so easy for me to pretend to be the perfect little angel, no one had to know the real pervert i was. I enjoyed being able to play with others without

Spilling the broth and yellowing the floor.

Those turmeric stains never come out, but it was necessary to try anyway. Then the mop handle broke, limns and feet were twisted, the bucket tipped over, and suddenly

the water sloshed in a frothing stream towards our principal, Mr. Peahead. He couldn't stop his momentum in time, and his feet gave way from under him, tossing him on his bottom

and sliding him on his keester for a number of yards before he hit a wall. Mr. Peahead was very wet and very mad. He suspended us all from school and suggested military academy

probation, but the school board was less than enthusiastic. In fact, Trustee Jones thought Principal Peahead's tumble was so hilarious that he posted a video of it on Facebook.