I was a latchkey kid. We moved a lot, too.

I was a latchkey kid. We moved a lot, too. I never got a handle on settling down to a future that would inevitably change. One day on the way home, two roads. I took the safe way.

I looked at the road I could have traveled, and saw a ghostly image of myself in an alternative universe. He was Goofus to my Galliant. As I settled into my simple life, he went on

genius, so Andrew Dice Clay took his bow. He accidentally ashed on Maya Angelou's hair stole, but she didn't care because his wit and poetry was so

So popular that nobody cared, until 12 years later.

He opened his eyes, looking around his environment, utterly confused and bewildered.

He'd never been able to look AROUND his environment before. Being able to peek past the edge of his existence was both electrifying and a tad nauseating.

Ever since he got his peripheral vision fixed he felt like Aladdin riding the magic carpet in a whole new world. It was a dazzling place he never knew! He could see people creep up

beside him and openly mock him, but he was so unused to such a sight that he didn't take offense. He became known as an easy-going guy and got invited to parties by people who

thought he was a swell guy. They never suspected his strange inclinations which worked out for him as they tended to trust him much too quickly. That made killing them easy.