Chloe got in the car and sighed. She hated

Chloe got in the car and sighed. She hated when anyone else used her car, but I brought her some coffee which is Seattle-ese for “I love you”. Chloe had the worst driving record

because she was only two. But she was a damned good driver for two. We had her on baby Einstein and that My baby Can Read Program. She was good, except for her alcoholism but

who can deny an adult beverage to the winner of Paris-Dakkar rally? Besides, she wasn't a mean drunk, she was one of those that pass out without causing any property damage. Anyway

That's the story we tell her dad. We have a box full of her panties because like clockwork, he shows up minutes after the last soccer player scores. almost got caught last week

with a size 8 pink lace thong bisecting his flabby, middle aged mudflaps. Luckily he

He also had on a couple of pairs of sweater slacks, three angry bee-hide sneakers and about a dozen neutrogena hats. Anything was welcome to his wardrobe if I didn't have to think

about it being practical or comfortable. He put on anything anyone gave him and his friends made a contest of dressing him in the most ridiculous items possible. He had the last

place ribbon at the County Fair's Fashion Show all wrapped up. Last year Wilbur had outdone him with an assless jumpsuit covered in kid art. Not this year. This year he wore a big

pork skin suit, which was a hit in Westminster, "Pork Rind Capital of the World" & he won the Fashion Show hands down, but then Wilbur suggested they fry him in oil...