Linda was torn. She'd spotted some all-new

  • Linda was torn. She'd spotted some all-new 100% organic crack with no high-fructose corn syrup on aisle 12. On one hand, it was crack cocaine. But on the other hand, it seemed

  • to be the answer to the dilemma thats been nagging on the edge of her brain now for almost a week! Maybe just a little sniff, she told herself, then I wouldn't be so ready to

  • scratch her sticker. It was a scratch and sniff sticker of a giant tire that smelled like burning rubber. It was gross and she loved it. But she'd almost scratched away the whole

  • tread and now it looked like a flaccid whale foreskin. Not that she thought that, but he did. He allowed himself to free associate some more. Whale blubber... Sperm whale...

  • Dorks... His thoughts about whales seemed to go on for a great many miles out to sea when he encountered the hunters. His whalophilia would defend the whales no matter the cost!

  • As it turned out, it would cost him plenty to defend the whales: a burned grilled cheese sandwich, 56 oz. of Hershey Kisses, 13 plastic Easter eggs, Marty Feldman's eyes, a box of

  • a dozen -- twenty pound -- gold bars, and a lock of Ole' Megguie's hair. "I'm willing to give everything to defend these damn whales, but not Ole Megguie. No. I'd rather be bait."

  • Meggui, oh Meggui. What a woman; her piercing blue gaze had me entangled in her web from the very start. I may as well already be bait to these whales, these whales I must save.

  • Meggui's Save the Whales Presentation turned my life around. Some may call it brainwashing, but I call it a lifestyle change; I sold my motorcycle and used the money to

  • translate the Bible into a series of waterproof orca audiobooks. "Thou shalt not kill" was met with a collective whale chuckle. Upon being swallowed, I, unlike Jonah, was digested.



  1. Zetawilk Sep 13 2012 @ 14:59

    Sorry, the closest Google gave me for "Meggui" was the Mergui Archipelago, which in turn linked me to this: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Biggles This is why I avoid Google at any costs. That and their corporate attitude of buying sites up just to shut them down. They're murdering a cultural era, almost exactly like how the soviets did to Russia.

  2. SlimWhitman Sep 14 2012 @ 15:38

    Great ending to the Whale sage.

  3. buddyboy4711 Sep 14 2012 @ 18:08

    Repressing my urge to reference HSOWA for an entire whale fold is a victory in my book.

  4. Zetawilk Sep 14 2012 @ 18:33

    How Sushi Operates With Alsatians.

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