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"Houston, we have a problem." The astronaut

  • "Houston, we have a problem." The astronaut looked back at the panel. The oil pressure was off. The fasten seat belts sign was on. Somewhere, a door was ajar. A loud binging klaxon

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  • could be heard over the sick beats coming from the lounge. The other astronauts were all ready to make some mistakes. Lisa and John eyed each other under the flashing red

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  • 'Asteroid approaching. Death is imminent.' sign. It was macabre, but the thing had been flashing for 38 days now so they were pretty used to it. Lisa made a play for John by

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  • reciting various lines she had heard that day on television. Lisa's play turned out to be about the real and imminent mortal danger they, and everybody else on the planet, was in.

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  • The actors were nuclear bombs and the audience was humanity. It wasn't so much a play as the apocalypse, and the encore was 83 billion years of silence.

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  • I began my review. "The only thing meatier than this evening in the theater is the corned beef sandwich at the Carnegie. It explodes the myth of the nuclear family." Later,

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  • during intermission, I spoke with some of the patrons in the foyer. Present were the usual suspects, out-of-towners on a junket, a small class of foreign students here to study

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  • foreigners. As I thought about this I thought about the word foyer and decided I hate it. I never knew how to pronounce it, is it "foy-yer" or "foy-yay?" Whatever you said you

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  • were either a pompous ass or an idiot! Miss pronouncing a word in casual conversation is OK but doing it while teaching a language class is just plain stupid. Why did I agree to

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  • the language class anyway? It's not as if I'll ever have a use for language. Still, at least I got a date with Miss Pronouncing out of it - but that's a whole other story.

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