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The man broke into the house and fight a

  • The man broke into the house and fight a young man, the man have the advantage, then, some one come behind him and hit him on the head, the man died, but they found out the man was

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  • actually in cardiac arrest and still alive

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  • was how the doctor described John Madden's existence, all the turduckens and sick legged turkeys had

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  • formed a kind of mystical ecosystem in his arteries. John Madden was no longer man. His veins flowed with turducken juices and his skin a congealed gravy. Football legend

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  • turned eldritch dark god, Madden is summoned by spinning counter-clockwise three times in front of a mirror in a dark room and screaming "FOOTBAAAALL!" He grants wishes in exchange

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  • for the lives of dogs, slain by none other than the hands of Michael Vick. As Vick begun snapping canine necks, Madden's power increased tenfold, imbued with their blood. He was

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  • strong because of Micheal Vick's failure. Espn has shunned Micheal Vick until he made a stunning comeback but

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  • then he did it again. Oops he said. But oops wouldn't cut it this time. The network executives faced him, alone and naked under the spotlight. They had decided on a punishment:

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  • a three day trip, all expenses paid, to one of the finest spa and relaxation centers in town. He was confused - they said it like it was a terrible thing - but to him it sounded

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  • divine. It was not until the friendly attendant produced the high-colonic wand that he heard the air-quotes around "spa." His shrill screams haunt that place to this day.

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