Some people are born as diamonds in the rough.

Some people are born as diamonds in the rough. Others aren't born at all. And some, the lucky few, are born different. And when I say different, I mean blue hair and mind reading.

I am one of those people. Whenever I meet someone new, I say to them "You're wondering why I have blue hair, aren't you?" and they say "Why yes, it's like you're reading my mind."

I like to think of my clientele as premium. I'm not yet skilled enough to scam just anyone. The slightly dumb ones, those are my people. I use my alleged psychic powers

to help fabulously wealthy people find their long lost relatives:"Wait, how long since you last saw your daughter?" The matron sniffed:"16 years." "MOMMA! Don't you recognize me?!"

Sadly, the matron was a patron saint of murder. Not being born yesterday ('though p'haps the day before) she knew she could save on her food bills by eating the spoilt brat.

"How much for the spoilt brat and half an onion?" The beleaguered woman now knew that her brat had a price. "Onions are hard to come by this time of year. They will cost you dearly

." Marta overhead this in passing, but The River was still on the matter. "Ma'am, may I help? This onion is a gift to you. And if the other wants a spoilt brat and half an onion,

she new the onion would be invaluable, as it was not a native crop, and she could just give up her own spoiled children. "Oh yeah,"Marta stated "It's all coming together" So Marta

went in the field to pick onions. She yanked hard at one & out it came from the soil. On the bulb was the face of one of her spoiled children! “F-U, mom!” it said. Marta fainted.