Before school, I pridefully set up my Mars
- Before school, I pridefully set up my Mars and Pirate Lego sets on my desk. When I returned, smoke was rising from the Mars Rover, and the Black Pearl had capsized. "Who did this?"
- I scanned the room. Hmmm, I was *sure* my Buzz Lightyear toy was on the top shelf when I left. Now he was sitting down on the second shelf. And his laser arm looked a little singed
- I've always believed my toys had a secret life when I wasn't in the room but now this confirmed it. Raggedy Ann's yarn hair was a bit singed too, and Buzz Lightyear's slight smirk
- signaled a conspiracy far beyond my understanding. I set up motion detectors in the room. Sure enough, I saw that the Tickle-Me-Elmo Mob was against the Action Figure Elite.
- At first I blamed these visions on the 146 times I watched Small Soldiers, but then Action Man and Ken climbed my bed one night and threatened to unleash Stretch Armstrong, if Elmo
- wouldn't stop sexually harassing the other toys. Elmo claimed they were friendship hugs, but Optimus Prime, GI Joe and others reported that the hugs lingered too long for
- that and besides he clearly had a tickle fetish.The court psychiatrist listened patiently. Can you show us where Elmo touched you on this Barney doll? Optimus Prime hesitated
- which let the prosecution (sexual harrassment victims are the ones on trial these days) to sink their teeth in. Optimus couldn't feel anything, they argued. Elmo's tickling crime
- was no laughing matter, the prosecution agreed, but sexual harrassment? Pu-leeze. Not when Optimus invited Elmo's advances by poking him repeatedly with a green banana.The attorney
- joined in poking Optimus with a mango. The black market sex tape made them all millions. It is called "Fruity Toys go Wild!" if you are looking to download it.
- Started
- 2011-12-04 09:37:22
- Finished
- 2013-01-07 20:33:34
5 Comments
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sundancer Jan 07 2013 @ 20:48
Ahahaha!!! One of your best, guys!
sundancer Jan 07 2013 @ 20:51
*Googles "Fruity Toys go Wild"*
inatick Jan 07 2013 @ 21:30
Disclaimer: Fruity Toys go Wild! is NSFW
Zetawilk Jan 08 2013 @ 00:46
Oh, good. I wouldn't want to accidentally read it while I'm /playing on the internet/ at the /place where I'm paid to do my job, not play/.
SlimWhitman Jan 08 2013 @ 05:44
Rentertainment Weekly: "Pixar ventures into taboo adult themes with "Toy Story 4:Fruity Toys go Wild." Animus Movie Review: "Optimus Prime considered Oscar contender for riveting performance."