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This has been my morning ritual ever since

  • This has been my morning ritual ever since that the day it came back from the dry cleaners all stretched out of shape and with a peculiar odor I couldn't put my finger on.... But

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  • I'd tried. My finger went as many places I could find an odor. This made my dog and room mates uncomfortable, but I'm ocd like that, and I'm the bottom guy on the lease, if not

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  • for nail clippers my dog would be a puddle of marinara right now. But this is how I get back at my boss. I swirl my Dog Dooky finger in his coffee. He thinks he has Crohn's

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  • disease. He believes in the Tooth Fairy too. One time, he pulled four good teeth and put them under his pillow. He got the $1, but didn't get the buck double cause he forgot tax.

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  • Following the incident of his taxed tooth fairy income, he swore never to pay taxes again. Let them threaten him with punishment in prison, he didn't care. This was a matter of

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  • right and wrong: only he should benefit from the fruits of his labor; only he should determine which charities to donate to. Anything else was slavery. Besides, the tooth fairy

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  • was having transport difficulties and needed a stand in. After multiple frantic phone calls, the only available cash giving mythical creature was

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  • a gecko. But he promised more than he delivered. Every claim had an asterisk. And he had this bad affected British accent, even though he came from Java. Latte good that did me.

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  • Cowboy TV on the other hand did me quite a lot of good! I love his sexy Western accent more than any lame British accent! I also love his

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  • modesty, and his simplicity most of all. In fact, I believe the Folding Father sent him here so that the less gifted of us folders could all shine in comparison! Such generosity!..

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