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one day attack dogs attacked me...

  • one day attack dogs attacked me...

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  • They chewed off my leg and i crawled to the house which was full of a clown with a ballistic knife.

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  • I thought fast and shoved a fragment grenade into the clown;s mouth, and bits of the clown was al over the place and i was drenched in blood. I dragged myself out of the house and

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  • E3moved the rubber nose from my nostril. That was how I got the idea for Welcome Back Kotter. In the original it was Bozo instead of Gabe Kaplan, but then nose became hose and

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  • Horseshack was inspired by the booger. You know, dark and hairy. It turned out to be a hit and with the money I bought the most expensive camel in the world. I took the camel to

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  • movie premieres, stage plays, my ginger ex-fiance's vaj...anything with a red carpet. The camel's only job at these events was to display those meta-tarsals to the press, diverting

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  • attention from the elephant in the room, that is to say, the lack of good catering. The olives were bitter and the cheese was dry, but the catering was not the only weakness of my

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  • "I finally reached puberty" soiree. It was the pantsless clown. I guess that MIGHT be funny at a comedy club, but not at the ladies auxiliary. Gladys Spinane practically choked

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  • it down in one gulp. That was her way - and it was embarrassing to the rest of the ladies auxiliary since

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  • ladies were taught to sip raw eggs, never to make a face, and never ever to wipe their mouths on their sleeves. She was born to be a cowboy, to gulp, glare, and swear. But when

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