"Anna, take your sister upstairs." Mother

"Anna, take your sister upstairs." Mother says forcefully as she stares out the window with a dreadful look on her face."What's wrong?" I ask, but she replies with,

"Everything and nothing." Uh oh, I thought, Mother is in one of those moods again. I trudge up the stairs with my little sister in tow. I busied her with our collection of toy

steam enigines. Each one represented a gift from out dad when he went to corn expos. When me and sis got all the models running, the humidity would cause the wall paper would peel.

We were careful to place the engines upside down so that they wouldn't move around. Soon the room was full of steam. We ran out of the room, giggling. "Fire, fire!" we shouted.

It was hilarious. Hilarious enough to make the Channel Five news. The cameras were rolling as the smoke flew out of the black-stained room. "How did this idea come to you?"

The man staring into the camera could only offer giggles to the news crew. "Well, huhuh, you see, when you smoke as much, uh, pot as I do, these things come to you naturally, man".

"So you are saying that because you smoke so much pot your foreheads naturally grew 19th Century German Philosophers," asked the reporter just barely able to prevent the eyeroll.

"Don't be silly," replied Nietzsche as he patted down the eyebrows of the forehead from which he had sprung, "we German philosophers just like a good pot party. Kant can't get

"Hey, Voltaire, do you know how to say the 7 dirty words in German. "Ich habe keine ahnung. " "sh*t p*ss f**k c**t... before he finished, Voltaire rolled his eyes and walked away.