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The Jesus's Lawn Care van arrived right on

  • The Jesus's Lawn Care van arrived right on time Wednesday morning. I thanked God every day I'd found him. What a nice guy, and the lawn had never been greener. One day Jesus

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  • showed up at Mr. Jones house and blessed his lawn. For an entire week the Jones lawn was greener than mine. When Jesus showed up at my place, I put 50$ on his collection plate &

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  • said, "There! Now we're even!" Jesus took the 50 spot out of the collection plate and dragged a pen across it. It was real. Then the son of man said to me, "Well, t

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  • -hat Grant fellow crossed me once, I just wanted to get him back." Hold up. "Jesus, you're saying general George McClellan was your second coming? I expected..." "Yeah, I blew it

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  • when I ran against Lincoln for President. Ahh, got all caught up in the politics when I shoulda been reestablishing My Kingdom." Jesus sighed. "Think I can try my 2nd Coming again?

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  • Having The Son of God in a porno was turning into a fiasco. Sure, on paper it was a no brainer. You would get the usual porn crowd but you'd also get the bible thumpers who usually

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  • acted self-righteous and pure but were real freaks in the sheets. They wouldn't wish for discovery; it would ruin their image. But JC was the star - they couldn't cut him from the

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  • production. Maybe they could just demote JC to the chorus, or something. Except JC could not dance worth a fig and would probably quit the show. They decided to drink a lot and

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  • Then try dancing. This didn't work either, but they danced in the street and were run over by a speeding yellow truck. The license plate was in Gibberish, so the police never found

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  • it. Which was odd, because when you're looking for a garbage truck, there's really only one place to look.

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