The Jesus's Lawn Care van arrived right on

The Jesus's Lawn Care van arrived right on time Wednesday morning. I thanked God every day I'd found him. What a nice guy, and the lawn had never been greener. One day Jesus

showed up at Mr. Jones house and blessed his lawn. For an entire week the Jones lawn was greener than mine. When Jesus showed up at my place, I put 50$ on his collection plate &

said, "There! Now we're even!" Jesus took the 50 spot out of the collection plate and dragged a pen across it. It was real. Then the son of man said to me, "Well, t

-hat Grant fellow crossed me once, I just wanted to get him back." Hold up. "Jesus, you're saying general George McClellan was your second coming? I expected..." "Yeah, I blew it

when I ran against Lincoln for President. Ahh, got all caught up in the politics when I shoulda been reestablishing My Kingdom." Jesus sighed. "Think I can try my 2nd Coming again?

Having The Son of God in a porno was turning into a fiasco. Sure, on paper it was a no brainer. You would get the usual porn crowd but you'd also get the bible thumpers who usually

acted self-righteous and pure but were real freaks in the sheets. They wouldn't wish for discovery; it would ruin their image. But JC was the star - they couldn't cut him from the

production. Maybe they could just demote JC to the chorus, or something. Except JC could not dance worth a fig and would probably quit the show. They decided to drink a lot and

Then try dancing. This didn't work either, but they danced in the street and were run over by a speeding yellow truck. The license plate was in Gibberish, so the police never found