To begin with there didn't seem to be anything

To begin with there didn't seem to be anything happening. It was quiet. It was dark. It was still. When it did happen, it wasn't sudden, but a slow building of noise and movement

from deep, deep within my guts. I shifted uncomfortably. I was right to be apprehensive because the next thing that happened

projectile diarrhea and drooling vomit, what ever I had ingested, my body wanted rid of it NOW! The last time I had felt like this was after two "Binto Taco's" from a push cart in

an old folks home. The taco vendor had dementia and was pushing around an old woman who he referred to as "Hot Tacos." What he was selling looked spicy so I

bought 2 hours of alone time with "Hot Tacos" which was worth the cigarettes since the old broad told plenty of lewd stories of her time at the texmex cartel.

Her best story detailed her exploits with the heavyset second-in-command of the group. While he was occupied with her snatch, she was snatching the bills from his wallet.

(Not simultaneously, of course.) She found, however, that despite her best efforts, she couldn't find it in herself to leave him while she was ahead. At least until

she'd beaten all the video games on his supercomputer's emulators. No, she had to milk that she was right, that she was superior, because she had countered his claims she was a

weight-obsessed freak. She looked into Simon's computer-weary eyes, "You can't win. I will destroy you. If you think you're better than me, I've got news for you: