I had been given the Government's most important
- I had been given the Government's most important secret document by accident. The delivery woman had swallowed her suicide pill before discovering I was the wrong person! The sec
- ond that she fell the the floor, I knew that I had only 2 options. Wikileaks or eBay. Either bringing down the worlds governments, or making a few bucks to maintain my smurf habit.
- I turned to Facebook to ask my friends what I should do. Predictably enough, three hundred people liked my question, but only two people actually answered it.
- And what makes matters worse, one answer came from my 3rd grade teacher.... Why in the world did I friend him anyway? He had no good advice, deep down I know what I was going to d
- rink and spatter into his face next semester. "Don't throw paper airplanes at midgets", he would comment at school.
- He was always doing that, rubbing my face in my mistakes.
- And I never said a word to him.Why? Was I too weak? Was I afraid of him? No, I loved him. I cared about him more than anything in the world. But did he reciprocate??
- His head was in the clouds and he felt he was above my station. How could I love this stilt walker without his love in return? Carnival was coming up, I would show him the truth.
- I had just enough time in advance of Carnival to show my love by building a life-sized killer whale out of Legos. THEN my true intentions would be evident.
- "See my life-size killer whale of legos!" I told people. It was anatomically correct, too! As much as a lego replica can be. I shoved people into its digestive tract to show them!
- Started
- 2012-08-19 18:40:42
- Finished
- 2012-08-28 02:14:44
2 Comments
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Zetawilk Aug 28 2012 @ 02:17
Can't find a real orca to exact revenge on your third-grade teacher? Use LEGOs instead! My theory is that the top-secret government document was a treatise on how to accomplish just this.
KieferSkunk Sep 04 2012 @ 21:22
And just remember, kids, if you come into contact with a top-secret government document whose secrets are so terrible the courier commits suicide on your doorstep, Facebook ain't gonna be much help to ya.