The dog was licking his foot again. Earlier

The dog was licking his foot again. Earlier that year he'd seen that some dogs could detect cancer, or seizures and would lick the offending part. While he debated, his dog peed

on the freshly licked foot. Perhaps canine saliva with a urine chaser would prove the next wonderdrug. Patting his pooch-physician on the head, the man sensed his toenail cancer

gone awry. His ply solace was listening to audio books narrated by Christina Pickles. Something about her voice soothed his

penchant for old 80s hour-long dramedies, like St. Elsewhere. The obscurity and randomness of his allusions simply astounded his audio books listeners

who were unfamiliar with St Eligius and The Colbys. Perhaps the most disconcerting element of his book radings was when he would stop abruptly and talk Alex P Keaton. As if an Ohio

man was walking down the hallway talking to a Texan. NEXT, A CLIFORNIAN CAME "DUDE WHAT ARE Yyou guys even doing tght now? I thought this was a peaceful negoiation. The Texan only

tipped his hat, smiled sweetly and spat a piece of corn from his mouth that pinged nicely into the trash can. He decided to open the peace negotiations by singing

NWA's Straight Outta Compton. It really got the crowd bumping and grinding and malt liquor sales skyrocketed. They were not welcomed back to the Convention Center after

ceding control of the time machine. They looked down on the gyrating crowds. "Seriously, who plays that old school crap anymore?", said a voice to my right. We all began laughing.