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She was unsure of her date and even more

  • She was unsure of her date and even more unsure about being outside, so she peed on his heated leather seats and waited while it cured in, insurance against future dates.

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  • But what she didn't realize was the Chinese manufacturer of the seat cut corners; a cheap tanning agent reacted with the fresh urea, causing an epoxy that melded skin to leather.

    5
  • Her friend had told her to sit down and use a mirror to look at it. "Talk to it and say I love you to it, to undo all the social stigma." But the epoxy had glued her mons venus

    2
  • de milo statue's arms right back on the torso. Good news! The signature piece of the garage sale was ready to move. Surprisingly, however, market interest fell when the arms were

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  • covering the torso. The torso, OMG! De milo might as well have been de miley. That reminds me, they had a few bongs at the garage sale as well. I think some cotton candy is

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  • great but was hardly going to pass as a wig. There were going to have to cover the torso in a different way. The local wood was a 5 minute walk so off they sped to collect

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  • as much pubic from the mens urinals as they could get. Luckily the taverns in this neighborhood seldom cleaned the urinals. We quickly twisting and wove the hair into the perfect

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  • ginseng cropped hat and wore it to the Quidditch finals over in Ulrich, Texas. Not America-Texas, Texas in Mongolia. The food was a bit harsh, but who were we to judge the faint

    1
  • overtones left from a diet of hairball remedy formula kibble? I mean, I love cats, but I can't eat a whole one even if it's properly sauteed. And let me tell you, these Mongolians

    4
  • will eat the first stray they catch.I'm a cat connoisseur & dined on all the celebrities:garfield,cat-in-the-hat,Felix,Moris,Tom, & the aristocats.Meowlicious from whisker to tail!

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6 Comments

  1. Zetawilk Oct 08 2011 @ 19:35

    As long as they eat that goddamn Fritz the Cat. Haha, those silly mongolians and their inability to determine range animals from companion animals. Maybe if they stop eating cats and started eating the rats they wouldn't have such a huge fucking rat problem.

  2. 49erFaithful Oct 08 2011 @ 23:59

    Silly Mongolians!

  3. Zetawilk Oct 09 2011 @ 00:32

    Wait, Mongolia? I thought we were talking about New York.

  4. 49erFaithful Oct 09 2011 @ 00:42

    Trix are for kids!

  5. Zetawilk Oct 09 2011 @ 00:58

    I thought tricks were for hookers. The Trix rabbit is a pimp. Which doesn't explain how his cousin the Nesquick rabbit fits into the equation.

  6. jaw2ek Oct 09 2011 @ 07:42

    Crack whore

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