My boat's too big big to get me to France.

  • My boat's too big big to get me to France.

  • My folded newspaper hat's too big to for me to see my prow, Mademoiselle.

  • "I see, Captain. Want me to make another?" Rain poured. She reached for more newspapers. Meanwhile, ink was dripping from today's Suduko, onto my forehead. I counted to ten, calmly

  • felt my navel, yeah it was still super sexy. When should I show it to her? Rain had always thought of me as boring, middle class white male, which I was, but you see, my navel

  • had a jewel in it. Like a belly dancer I too could sparkle with the best of them. Rain would have no choice but to fall for me, now.

  • And fall it did. It fell so hard that the jewel in my belly button slid out and into a puddle. Frantically I scooped through the mud to find it, but the murky water interfered.

  • Don't ask me how a jewel was able to fall out of my belly button. The next day when I looked again, I found that the jewel had fallen into a sewage pipe. I bravely began to

  • Remove the manhole, put on my polar bear suit and climb in. That was a real mistake because cars pinned the manhole shut and finally I pushed it open. A city employer was asking me

  • where, close by, I could find a city he could employ. I told him your home town and she spit in my face. I looked again & it was him. "Look, city employer, I ain't your city. Move

  • your fatass over to Canada and punch yourself in the mouth."



  1. lucielucie Jan 26 2018 @ 15:44

    I have no idea what my fold means.

  2. Woab Jan 26 2018 @ 16:54

    I was thinking it might be Freudian.

  3. SlimWhitman Jan 26 2018 @ 20:04

    Yes, that's where my boat was going.

  4. lucielucie Jan 28 2018 @ 19:04

    Ok - I'll take Freudian thanks.

  5. somesuch Jan 31 2018 @ 22:09

    It was a Freudian slip of a boat. Not even a skiff.

  6. lucielucie Feb 01 2018 @ 16:11

    Freudian sloop?

  7. Woab Feb 01 2018 @ 16:32

    Oh, how I love these comments!

  8. somesuch Feb 01 2018 @ 22:33

    I am the one that slipped. A slip is not a boat but the slot where they are moored.

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